Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Tragedy of being 25+ in an Indian BSchool

One of my DCE friends(2007 batch) has got into IIM this year and the poor soul is extremely excited about this screw up. The mean streak in me has decided to convince him that the world of Bschools is not that kind for the 25+ community coming in. So in case you are one of those, please look away, you are not going to like the reality check that is going to follow.

If you are an aspirant with heavy workex walking into a Bschool after slogging in the IT sector for years, you are most likely to have the following dreams -
• Investment Banking or a FMCG marketing job
• Having fun in a class with more than 33% girls. (For an engineer, it is like living a dream). Some of you might even have aspirations of finding your life partner at a Bschool.
• And most importantly – Huge packages and the future of a classy lifestyle.

On the last day of office you tell your boss and everybody around – “Fuck you IT, I will never return”. And then this is what happens to you –

• You will be nicknamed “Dada”, “Grandpa”, “buddha”, “Baba”, “Oldie” on the very first day of college. Mean freshers(like me) do it to eliminate you from the battle for the cutest female. Ignore them, you cannot help it. Get used to your nickname; it will now stick with you for a lifetime.
• In the first 15 days of hell (known as induction), you will be harassed by some senior whom you ragged when he was your junior in graduation. He will take strong revenge for all your misdemeanors in engineering college and you will regret being a bully as a senior.

• 80% of the 33% girls you are excited about would be at least 4-5 years younger than you. They will at best treat you like ANNA (elder brother) if not uncle.

• 99.99% of the 5% girls of your age would already be committed, married or engaged. The balance 0.01% are single because of a reason. (Use your own judgment to guess why. I refrain from making any racist/sexist/biased comments on my blog)

• In the initial days, you will arrogantly smirk at the global, far from reality “gaseous viewpoints” - your stupid younger classmates have. Very soon you will realize that only such “gas” points are appreciated in the Bschool world.

• Being the most experienced and by that logic most responsible guy in the batch you will be given all the “Non CV point” responsibilities like escorting drunk guys(only guys) back from party, arranging all fun trips and then haggling with the bus driver about the route when the other irresponsible kids are having fun in the back.

• Going back to classes would be extremely difficult after 4-5 years of working. Because despite all the fun, there is a whole lot of studying that happens in classes. Unless, you are a ghissu of the highest order you will most often end up at the bottom rung in academic ladder. And this will end any hope you had of getting an I-bank shortlist.

• If you were one of those irritated by office politics and wanted to run away from it by getting into a BSchool, you are screwed. BSchool politics will put to shame, even the worst of Politicians. Every institute has its own Karunanidhi(commonly known as the “Placement Secretary”) and its DMK family. My sincere advice is to become his family’s Dayanidhi Maran in the first year itself.

• Two years is a long time, the really pretty super cute girl in the next building will be married by the time you come out of “college”. She will call you informing you about the news this way – “You know, I had a crush on you. But then my parents were forcing me to get married and you went to complete your MBA. I could not have waited for 2 years. But now I am happy. "Insert name of any guy you hate" is a nice guy. Not an MBA like you, but still I am very happy. IT engineer settled in US etc.”

• Banks and FMCG companies will conveniently ignore you because of your age. (Wait, which other companies come on campus. Don’t worry, desi group companies & IT companies would definitely give you a shortlist :-))

• You will be married or engaged months after your studies. So in effect, your bachelor life with assured monthly cash flows is effectively over the day you walk out of your current job.

• Perhaps the most damaging one – When you come out of a Bschool you will most probably end up in Mumbai (THE most expensive city in the world) with no bank balance, fresher at a job with an enormous bank loan (unless you were at FMS of course :)) to pay at the ripe old age of 27. And all this after having lived a completely fun filled life in Gurgaon, Hyderabad or Bangalore at less than half the salary packages pre MBA.
Can it get any worse???


PS: Dedicated to all my friends who went to B school as a 25 year old.
PPS: If you are a 25 something heading into a Bschool, please don’t take this article too seriously. I am just kidding. Wish you all the best for your MBA.

233 comments:

  1. This post could actually be used as a strong marketing tactic by ISB for those students (above 25 of course) who aren't decided between their ISB and other Indian B-School admits:)

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  2. by the time someone reaches the PPS, the application would be withdrawn! :D awesomely written dude

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  3. Awesome.. Placement Secy wala point faad hai :D

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  4. kya chutiyapas likha hain bhai....i want my 10 mins back.

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  5. Awesome ... can relate with most of the points :P

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  6. Wow! Unbelievably accurate! Extremely well written ....

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  7. I'm 26 and heading to Joka :) Was so excited to "finlly" crack it...but seems like I need a reality check..
    anyways an awesome ROFLOL article :)

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    Replies
    1. I am the senior most person on the whole campus at IIM-xxxx.

      Just want to tell u; u are 26, if u will not do it now, then u will never be able to do it and repent it after another 5-6 years.
      Author is cribbing about 25+, but does he has any idea what it feels like when u are on the other side of 30.

      What will u do when u will be 30+, the gap between u and all those who have done MBA will continue to increase at exponential rate.
      An IIM degree is going to give u some benefits anyhow, at least boost ur confidence if u are already not an IITian, u will get to know what kind of people go to the most prestigious colleges, nothing special - just more focused.

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  8. Superb... Girls walle points pretty accurate hai.. awesome work.

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  9. hillarious...awesommme...super duper fantastic...!!! i cud not stop laffin at "ghissu"...ROFMLAO

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  10. you write a great article and then you negate it all with an apology at the end? Shame.

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  11. _Too_ seriously? Man, I'm a 25+ year old guy waiting to walk into IIM C in June. You scared the crap out of me, especially with the super-cute gal next-door thingy! I'm wondering whether to reconsider, take the FMS exam next year and go there in a couple of years as an old fogey with a walking stick!

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  12. Couldn't help commenting. As a 27 year guy in a so called top notch B School, I can attest that every one of the points mentioned is true. However I would still suggest the 25+ junta not to be scared and still go through the B School experience. Its harrowing but enriching.

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  13. liked the "anna" part ..hilarious..

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  14. Straight out of some novel I had read...but non the less a hard fact for me :P

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  15. SUperb
    Creativity linked with Reality

    DMK family point OMG

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  16. haha.

    For one thing, all engineers really look forward to seeing some chicks on campus.

    But the top IIMs still have not more than 20% chicks. And at the risk of sounding rude, most of the guys or girls aren't studs and babes either.

    Humanities grads like me have it far easy though. For 5 years (B.A. + M.A.) we are surrounded by the hottest Delhi chicks. Then we are even favored by IIMs for purposes of diversity. And after 5 years of practice around women, most of us tend to become really smooth at picking up girls. Plus, we can quote Shakespeare and sprout Proust. C++ skills won't take you too far when it comes to landing chicks.

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  17. amazing . . i cant even remember the last blog i read that came even near to this one in pure awesomeness . .

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  18. Yes, many points are true or near to truth... but what's not written is very essential to know before developing a mindset and that would be: if you have it in you, you'll get it. Marks, Cut throat, Politics, Tactics, Comapnies' attitudes etc. stand still and there will be someone who will recognise the talent and potential in you (can also be yourself if you become an entrepreneur). Hence, ask yourself when to do mba or anything else, but ask from yourself what you actually want, and if the answer to that hints for MBA, there is no bad time for it. Remember, there are challenges at many points in life, and they succeed who overcome them, not those turn their backs to them. And yes, people enter B-schools with different aims (remember your SOP); hence it may not be fair to compare people (incl yourself) with others in terms of who came out more successful - especially not when they just pass out. Look at them a few years ahead in life and also when they retire... :)

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  19. A superbly written satire...ur witty my frnd.use to to the best...its a quality most rare!

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  20. Awesome ...very well written :)

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  21. U underestimated the uncle's age by quite a bit

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  22. Around the GLOBE in one class.....some uncles do rock in that..... where 5/10 CP marks takes u high (Relative gRADing)

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  23. Every institute has its own Karunanidhi(commonly known as the “Placement Secretary”)......very true.

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  24. Superb.. really enjoyed reading your post and made me recall my days in MBA.. shouldnt be taken as a serious read... poor poor you guys life can be so harsh isnt it?.. ;P

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  25. girls, placements,politics...perfect potboiler ;)

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  26. placecom comment was awsome...
    thank god I did my mba at 21 itself...
    loved the article

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  27. superb... njoied thoroughly being the one entered into bschool @ 21 years old..

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  28. Very well written....:)enjoyed reading every word of it

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  29. LOVED every word of it. though i wont be so oldie, hope i dont land up in such a situation

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  30. excellently crafted the realities of Big MBA hoopla...!!!
    kudos to you man..!!!

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  31. too good and enjoyed every bit of it...

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  32. Wonderful! :-)

    Relate to almost everything mentioned here!

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  33. Awesome post man :P
    loved every ounce of it

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  34. Well said Siddhesh. Very well said :)

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  35. Lol. The article was funny dude.. But now it is our turn to bite.

    To start with We had all the girls we wanted in the bachelors and the 2 or 3 years we spent earning for ourselves. The best thing about having a girlfriend while working is that you can take care of her better than how you used to when you were doing your bachelors. Yes.. the same "budhau" who slogged hard for your tuition fees had an additional responsibility of taking care of your girlfriend although he did'nt knew ;)

    As for the politics, one or 2 years of a job experience gives us the exposure of Cheap third class politics that would put a group of seasoned politicians to shame. This also helps us tackle such situations with effect. At the end of two years, you are going to wind up where we started 4 years back. I see that as a headstart ;)

    But all said, you had a lot of valid points and this scared the hell out of me. But as they say b-schools are never meant to be fun. That would be our only solace. :)

    Regards,
    26-year cranky old dude who has just got into a b-school

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  36. Siddhesh, I had no idea you blogged so wonderfully! Niice.

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  37. Every points are absolutely correct dude.........

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  38. nice work buddy.. keep going.. unravel more truth.. some about urself n likes as well ;)

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  39. whoops...nice article...nd nice comments....i am happy going into b school at 22...thnk god i took this decision early...;) :p

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  40. why didnt u put google ads on ur blog!!! u wud have earned so much...this entry is a rage...

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  41. Very well written. True, to the point yet entertainingly engaging!

    www.writersmelon.com

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  42. Well written ............ quite entertaining ..........

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  43. very well written thankfully i am about to finish my MBA at the age of 25 so some points NA :P

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  44. Very well written and true ..liked it

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  45. I have commented often u have a great writing style..humor and sarcasm at its best..quit ur job...get into writing .. commentating .. something .. great points..probably I would have appreciated more if I had lived it..but beautiful piece of work..

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  46. Completely agree with all points . Nicely written.

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  47. wow.. this is hilarious.. i m not sure how true this is.. but it is hilarious..

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  48. Been there, done that. I crossed 25 while in b-school, and I know how true it is. :)

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  49. Haha!! Awesome Post!! Visited ur blog for the first time.. I was a fresher at a bschool couple of yrs ago and I could clearly relate to how we used to be a pain for all those with a few yrs IT work ex!! could relate with almost all points.. Good one!!

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  50. I could make sense of everything you said.
    I still can't see the correlation between age and a banking/FMCG short list though. I know it is there though.

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  51. OMG this is an excellent post...ha ha great! this is some kind of post that makes me your blog reader for rest of my life ;) njoy!

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  52. Worthy post!! Pls send to Times of India...damn sure they'll print it :) All d best!

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  53. Cool Post.

    IIPM ads are showing in Google Ads. :) That's Weird :)

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  54. Very tru indeed!
    Passing out this year from a b-school at an age of 26, I find the IT part (again got into IT) the most realistic. Girls do treat a 25+ as "Anna" but the Karunanidhi part is mind blowing!
    Nice read.
    --
    A 26 year old MBA

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  55. it somehow reminded me of the movie '40 yr old virgin'...awesome work man!!!

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  56. very well written...you look like another "chetan bhagat" in the making :), "reality mixed with good humor" style of writing...may be you shud consider a career as an author

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  57. amazingly nice post! loved every bit of it! do keep writing :)

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  58. Awesome :P Thanks for the heads up!!

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  59. 100% truth in each and every point.... good observations indeed.

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  60. bloody awesome! each point is absolutely true...

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  61. u were just KIDDING? u just made some people here to change their modus operandi... LoL

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  62. Simply Awesome.... I could relate a lot... I was 25 when I joined a b-school. Am 30 now but everything is just the way he describes :)

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  63. A Good read... Particularly about the 'Dada''Oldie' bit... Some elements of truth in other points as well. :)

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  64. nice article

    btw, m another 25 yr old pungin 2 do a MBA :)

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  65. Really good post.. awesomely written.. ;)

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  66. Very well written article. Keep writing.

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  67. awesome..... The impact is just simple.... Now the experienced folks like me have to curtail some of their hard years...

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  68. ultra fab write-up.. :) u like literally bought evrythng on paper! ;) al d >=25 guys feelings r al here.. :D incredible article!!

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  69. Awesomely done!!!.... Now this is some skill , No wonder u r a B-School Student:)

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  70. your blog was a topic during lunch at the cafeteria with my office buddies today :)..

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  71. very humorous..realy loved it!!

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  72. Awesomely written..... The PPS was good else it wud have attracted some harsh comments... But good insight,... best kinda humor I have read in a long long time...

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  73. hey nice peice of work...loved d way u wrote it....evry point seems to b real.

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  74. agashe.. u have become a star!! so many comments!!!

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  75. Awesome dude... Lived all of it...

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  76. Nice one indeed ! :) Funny...
    There goes my dream of becoming a MBA ! :(

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  77. Simply Awesome !!!!!!!!!
    Dada n ANNAs Mind It :)))

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  78. crap.. not even blog material dude...

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  79. What prompted you to write such an enlightened article... was it that some person in B-School with 25 + screwed you badly ...lol.. ....will expect you to write something for persons with 25- in a B School... any way hats of for such a nice articles..!!!

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  80. Awesum .... I see some people who have lived the blog cursing it :P

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  81. A very nice article. I have a frnd, suffering from the same syndrome Wanna-shift-from-IT-to-MBA-in-ISB and a DCE grad for that matter :D

    I told him d same over and over again, but i gess this IT + MBA ka "keeda" is weaved in their brains somehow. Wont give up, come waa may.

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  82. This was a really nice article.. Am not an MBA but I sure as hell had a lot of fun reading it.. And now that I am 25+ I don't even aspire to become an MBA.. Good read.. Hilarious as a matter of fact...

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  83. Liked your article... inspired me to write this: http://aashishsood.blogspot.com/2011/05/benefits-of-being-girl-in-b-school.html

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  84. was it really that good or am I missing something here :o.
    Some how folks here don't like their friends doing an MBA i believe :P

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  85. Ouchhhhhhh, but well said!!!

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  86. Spot on !! The observations made are true.
    But luckily, I did my MBA in Germany...and the post-MBA pays 10.5 times compared to my prev IT job. So get out of the country guys, and taste videshi maal :)

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  87. Good articulation... enjoyed reading it...

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  88. The only way to survive as a 25 year old on campus is to start behaving under ur age. I did that. I lived :) soon it gets in ur system and u start liking the young peppy self.

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  89. Joined IIM at 25.
    Was already married.
    Had no IT experience.
    Was living in Surat before joining IIM Afterwards worked in Bangalore, now in Gurgaon.

    On top of it all chilled out for 2 years!!

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  90. Great Post!!!! I completely relate to it.iM 25 and in a B School

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  91. "Two years is a long time, the really pretty super cute girl in the next building will be married by the time you come out of “college”. She will call you informing you about the news this way – “You know, I had a crush on you. But then my parents were forcing me to get married and you went to complete your MBA. I could not have waited for 2 years. But now I am happy. "Insert name of any guy you hate" is a nice guy. Not an MBA like you, but still I am very happy. IT engineer settled in US etc.” "

    I just hope that my darling bf, re thinks after reading this! I already told him that 2 yrs is a long time :P

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  92. hey good one with reality touch :)

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  93. I am 28 and aspirant. You made me cry brother. Well written :)

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  94. yaar even i am planning to pursue MBA at 25+........but now I am afraid with girls points u have made......5%, 99.9%, 0.01% OMG........... I am disappointed.........:(

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  95. Funny article!!! good one for those who enters in topnotch Bschools and think
    1) they want to reenjoy their past college life

    .. What I suggest from my experience is that your first college and hostel life whether it be your engineering (most of the guys are in IT sector) or art or any other field is the most memorable one, nothing is comparable to it whatever college or university you join later. your first experience remains with you forever.
    So forget about coming back to those golden days.
    Moreover in those days you rarely think about your age, marriage or family settlement. But now for those who have considerable work experience and are still not settled and planning to go for MBA or MS their first priority will be completing their studies with good record and placement so that they can marry and settle soon and most parents when they hear that their son is going for some higher education they just postpone their search for your match a little longer. So my suggestion here is that its not about enjoyment or reunion with your past but its actually that you are giving more importance to your Education and career.

    2) Think that B-schools are best place to find soul mate
    ... I think if you are the lucky on you would have found one in your past college life. Four years are more than enough to try and test your luck as engineering colleges are far more better options for this test as they have considerable higher percentage of girls than management institute and you have plenty of time there and you won't get much in IIMs, 2 years will pass more quickly than you've ever imagined faster than your 4 years of engineering. So remove this crap from your mind before re-entering to college life. And moreover I think matrimonial are better than Management Institute as you will find good options there.

    What I say is you will rarely find any of your junior their as your senior.

    And when you go and look around You will find all good universities like wharton harvard oxford their average admission age for MBA is around 26-27. So in India mentality for doing MBA is brand name and Good Package so the most of them don't have work experience as they are eager to have it. Work experience add value to your degree and about nickname like dada ... its about mentality you cannot change it.

    So what I say is don't look at Life of 2 years just look at your whole life after those 2 years then you would really understand it.

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  96. nice read .. it was very entertaining ..

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  97. ha ha ha...all the way...:)...read and re-read for husband again..loudly..:)..amazingly well written..:)

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  98. whosoever is taking this piece of Crap,has lost faith in his vitalilty since school days ,coz of some insane renderings of AMerican Pie...and yes,i see the inevitable signs of LOSER...GUys who would ask someone to get him INTRODUCED to "someone else".......OMG,normally i do control my ranting ,but looks like its from a blof of some overweight beby,who eventually managed to gain control of his waist size.......someone who never knew how to take things in his stride......and surely,he never heard of the fact that girls like MEN ,not B (school) boys......arghhh,,,do I have to define MEN now.....one knows when he looks into the eyes of the guy in the MIROR

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  99. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  100. sid, awesome and articulate as ever

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  101. awsumly depicted man!!!!
    must read for all.... 25+ n 25- as well!!!
    gona mak my fndz ponder ova dis 1!! :)

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  102. man...its really a superb post...even though um nt 25+ yet...but can feel da dilema of da coming future.

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  103. this happens when u r landed in a place, which is really not of ur choice....or have gone for blind hit..and so on..

    but never to worry..instead look at what u'v got..be positive..nothing goes waste if u hav well assimilated them...

    but i like the content in it....good work..but little synical and that means its really demotivating...its like putting a full stop to everywhere possible...expand your views..and u shall have a life...
    ..well wish u all the luck..god bless..write more but with a change texture of thoughts and views..a new you...

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  104. CYNICAL..............i meant....sorry for the spelling mistake.....everyone goes thru at times....lol..

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  105. amazingly well written!!! This is superb writing!

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  106. I never read a piece so full of b**shit ever about management education. I pity the profs and the college that taught you!

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  107. This is absolutely brilliant! For all the humour, the best bit was still the dig at FMS :D

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  108. I must say brilliantly framed...

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  109. it's actually a reality boss....loved ur blog.. interesting indeed :)

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  110. Interesting autopsy of an MBA degree!! :)

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  111. Really nicely written. Enjoyed reading it. :)

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  112. faad hai bhai!!!ab toh main frsher me hi mba kar lunga saala!!

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  113. I am the first timer here, but this is a really nice post. fun-filled and message driven.. of course depends upon the people the way they take it..

    Keep writing..

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  114. Thank god i dropped the plan even before starting 2 prepare 4 d entrances :P

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  115. I am having second thoughts about joining grad school post 25 now :P Really well written!!

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  116. What an amazing post .... FAB read... Smiling all the way through ....

    Ritz..
    www.delectableflavors.blogspot.com

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  117. Fabulous..PErfect analysis of the mindset of a 25 yr old in a B-School!

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  118. Sorry, but I find nothing original or amusing eitherways...

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  119. I went to a B-School after 4 years (almost) of IT. Since I always wanted to get back to IT (its too damn tough to climb the IT corp ladder) gettin into a B-school was the easiest way out.
    Extremely accurate, for those IT folks who want to show the finger to IT. For ppl who want to stay, getting into a B school is not that bad a deal. Plus, you get to relive college!! And who the hell is looking for a "soulmate" anyway! We are happily single and merrily drunk :D

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  120. awesum dude :) whistle whistle :)

    RaGhU
    www.tjraghunathbabu.blogspot.com

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  121. wow! This was better than Cutting Chai! But seriously man, you talk about the 'ripe old ago of 27' as though a an lives to be only 35 at max! There's a life beyond that, you know...

    But apart from all that, funny article! :)

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  122. True to the T!!!!

    Great post! :)

    Cheers

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  123. me too looking forward to it, as in MBA at 25+
    but just that am a girl. please throw some light now!

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  124. im floored! :)
    what wit...gud observations, nicely compiled!

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  125. This is sooper,every word of it is true :)

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  126. 99.99% of the 5% girls of your age would already be committed, married or engaged. The balance 0.01% are single because of a reason. (Use your own judgment to guess why. I refrain from making any racist/sexist/biased comments on my blog)

    hahahahahahahahahaha..;)

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  127. dude which B school is that yaar, in mine i am one of the few freshers and most good looking gals are only 4 to 5 years older than me :(

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  128. sarcastically sarcastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :)

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  129. Dude!

    I am 29. I passed out of IIT R in 2004 and worked with an automobile company for 6 years. Currently I am a first year student at IIM K.

    I have a summer internship with a most prestigious private equity firm, the largest Australian investment bank in an equity research profile. The company has a strong and reputed PPO policy. I am scoring quite respectably. People do call me Daddy, but do so with pride, admiration and acceptance, and even love. I am dating a foreign exchange student. Who's your Daddy, now?

    Nevertheless, I know what you are talking about.
    - Polo, the Wiki.

    p.s. Don't mind the attempted humour. I am a rascal that ways.

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  131. Haha.... Nice 1.....
    I myself is an IIM graduate.....fresher....
    However post this article,I can better relate to the plights the 25+ guys suffered......

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  134. GITM - Best Engineering colleges in India & Top B-Schools in Gurgaon

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  135. GITM - Best Engineering colleges in India & Top B-Schools in Gurgaon

    GITM (Global Institute of Technology & Management) is one of the best engineering colleges in India & top B-schools in Gurgaon, Delhi/NCR. This AICTE approved college is amongst top B-schools & offers best engineering courses based in Gurgaon.

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    Admission Helpline: 08053980002/03/04

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  136. GITM - Best Engineering colleges in India & Top B-Schools in Gurgaon.

    GITM (Global Institute of Technology & Management) is one of the best engineering colleges in India & top B-schools in Gurgaon, Delhi/NCR. This AICTE approved college is amongst top B-schools & offers best engineering courses based in Gurgaon.

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    5 Km Stone, Kheda Khurampur,
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    Contact No:-0124-2016600/700/800
    Admission Helpline: 08053980002/03/04

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